Our Sad Day

In Ecclesiastes 3 we are told there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. Verse four says, "A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance."
Today was our day to weep and mourn.
I'd like to write more about the lessons learned so far, about all that God has already given me and taught me, but I think the time for that will come. Today is still a time to mourn.
Steve left today for a six month deployment. The last few days have been hard. Today was the hardest day by far, undoubtedly one of the hardest days of my life. It began so precious, more precious because we knew another morning of cuddling kids in our not-so-big queen size bed wouldn't happen again for a long time. Thankfully Steve didn't have to check in at his usual 6:30 a.m., so we were able to have that cuddle time. The whole family took Daddy to work and then headed home to get ready.
All the families were invited to the boat for lunch and goodbyes. As I loaded the kids up I looked outside: rain, lots of rain. The weather certainly matched my mood. The feelings flowing through me were mixed, deeply sad and the desire to be strong for my family.
Steve met us at the gate to the pier and we had a nice but wet lunch with him and the other crew members and families on the pier. No tears...until it was time to say goodbye. We took a few precious family pictures, gathered our things, and headed to a more private area. I was losing control of my emotions, tears were escaping through my desire to remain strong.
Steve said goodbye to the kids first. Genevieve, oh our dear sweet girl. She hugged and cried with all her heart. She wears her emotions on her sleeve and her heart opens wide to love those fortunate enough to be in her world. Elizabeth was different, hiding her pain with jokes and a little distance. She hugged her Daddy with all her might but shed no tears. As we left though, her heart opened and she said, "I'm just so sad Daddy is going away." Stevie is still too young to understand more than that we had to say bye to Daddy. He won't remember today, or the deployment. I'm thankful for that mercy.
Then it was my turn. How do you tell your dearest goodbye? Thankfully we have been blessed with such a love, deep and strong, it didn't matter what we said. I love him, he loves me. A few years ago he felt the desire of God was for him to make a difference, to be a light in a very dark aspect of the world. I am called to follow him. Today that meant letting each other go. And then he turned, and began to walk away, and turned back to smile his dear smile. And then he was gone, lost to me in a sea of uniforms.
We came back about an hour later as his sub pulled away from the pier. He was standing topside, thankfully a line handling supervisor, though too distant to really see. We waved with all our might, and yelled one loud "We love you!" to get his attention. He waved, and blew a kiss.
Then I looked and a wall of rainwater as one sees in Hawaii was almost upon us. We were soaked in seconds. But we saw him off, and now we have weeks of tomorrows until his return.