I always like to read friends' birth stories, and I have a terrible memory, so I want to put my 4th on "paper." Monday, March 19th was a pretty normal day for us. Since Steve wasn't home, I got up with the kids and made breakfast before we did our little morning routine. I was determined to get through our school day, because at 36 weeks pregnant my goal was to do as much school as possible before our new baby arrived. In the afternoon Caroline (a dear friend from church who was staying with us) offered to watch the kids so I could run out and test drive a new van. Our evening was totally normal and around 10pm I was getting ready for bed. I turned the light off and got into bed, then I felt something odd. My thought was that my water broke or I had slightly lost bladder control. I was incorrect on both; I was bleeding. I think my first thought was, "What does blood mean?" I called my really good friend Keren who has birthed 6 children, her advice was to wait a little bit and call the doctor if the bleeding didn't stop or was severe.
For the next couple hours I slept a little, waking and seeing more blood. At 1am I knew it was time to call the hospital. Because we have military medicine I don't have a doctor of my own, but I was in the midwife program so I paged the midwife. She called right back and encouraged me to come right in, even if it meant wrapping up my other children and bringing them with me. She said the amount of blood could mean nothing, but could also be a very dangerous sign. Honestly, though I was a little shaken for the health of my baby boy, I was sure they would check me and then send me home.
I arrived at the hospital with my wallet and a dying cell phone. The midwife checked and I was dilated at 2cm with no other labor signs. The ultrasound didn't show a problem, but she assumed my placenta was pulling away from the wall of the uterus. She told me that she thought I should be admitted and labor induced. I felt like I had just been told the world was really flat instead of round. I do not have early babies, I do not have babies THREE WEEKS early. My husband was due to fly home on April 3rd, leave had been granted for him to leave his deployed submarine to spend a few weeks with us. My parents were due to fly in April 12th, the day after my due date. I had no bag packed. I had no bassinet, no playpen set up, no swing, no bouncy seat, no bottles or formula (which I've needed for each baby) and NO clean house to bring a new baby home to! I didn't just feel unprepared, I WAS unprepared. As they admitted me I still thought I might go home, I even asked the nurse how often people are admitted and then go home without having the baby. She kinda laughed at me and said it didn't happen.
At around 5am I called my Mom and Keren. The attending OB resident had seen me and said she wanted to begin an induction. Her other option was for me to remain at the hospital and be monitored; they would not advise me to go home, the danger was too great. I had also been transferred away from the midwife because we were now "high risk." My Mom was amazing, she cried with me and told me to do what was best for Charlie. She said she would talk to my Dad and see if they couldn't change their flights and leave right away. I wasn't expecting them to do that, but words cannot express how glad I am that they did. Later, she handed me an outfit for Charlie and told me that as soon as we had gotten off the phone she began to lay her hands on it and pray over his safety and mine.
My pastor's wife and dear friend Keren had similar advice; I should do what was best for Charlie. She also promised to be there as soon as she could. She began getting the word out about my being in the hospital and our fellowship began to pray. She came by the house to pick up clothes and things for me and to make sure Caroline and the kids had everything they needed. Keren arrived at the hospital at around 10am on Tuesday morning and didn't go home for almost 24 hours.
Almost as soon as the induction began the shift at the hospital changed and I was now in the care of a new nurse and ob resident. The next 12 hours were slow and steady. I was out of bed, moving around or sitting on a birthing ball. The contractions weren't strong or too painful, so my friends and I passed the time pretty easily. Keren had brought fruit and some snacks with her and I hungrily ate as I hadn't had a meal since Monday night and the doctor did not want me to eat. At 6pm, 12 hours after the induction began, I was dilated to 4cm, and that was only because a balloon thing was used. The ob resident thought we should stop pitocin for an hour and then begin again, maybe a jump start would help the process. I agreed on the caveat that I could have a meal and a shower.
At 7pm the same resident from the morning came back on duty and she was NOT pleased with my lack of progress. My nurse also changed and the new nurse was not at all someone I would want again. The new ob team wanted to be much more aggressive; they wanted to break my water and give more pitocin more often. What could I do but go forward? I do remember saying that Steve would not have liked this new doctor! So they broke my water and when she checked me again she felt Charlie's arm up over his head. This posed a real problem. She said I could deliver naturally this way, but it would be much more difficult. The other problem was that if she tried to move his arm, which was keeping his head from engaging the cervix, that the cord could slip down and then we would have an emergency. In the end she did try to move his arm.
One word, excruciating.
After that I asked for the epidural. The hours of Tuesday night came and went with very little change. I think I went from 4cm to 5cm over 7 hours. Charlie's arm was still a problem and the doctor tried to move it again with little success. I remember sleeping some; the epidural took too well in my right leg and not so well in the left so I had a terrible feeling in my legs. One was so weirdly numb and dead, the other could feel some of the pain from the contractions. As far as my emotional state through all of this, I remember moments of fun and laughter with my friends, pain of not having Steve there with me, and an overall sense that God was in control.
The next morning rolled around and with it a shift change again. It must be said that having one's own doctor who has one plan during the whole process is greatly to be desired! At this point I was given back to the hands of the midwife, and with a new and amazing nurse I was feeling hope. It was really emotionally and mentally exhausting to know I was barely half-way there and 24 hours had come and gone.
The one constant, through all the doctors, nurses, bags of fluid, epidural, concerns, was Charlie. He was, by the grace of God, as happy as a clam. Not once did his heart rate actually fluctuate, even with the belly monitor which usually needs constant adjustment. For almost 36 hours his heart rate was steady. SO amazing!
Toward mid-morning I began to finally lose control. The total exhaustion of mind, body and spirit had taken its toll. I had pretty severe pain in my left side from the contractions; the tears were flowing and all I wanted was a C-section. My friends, Dorida and Laura, who where there with me, came over and began to pray. I knew that I had to hold on as long as Charlie did, as long as his heart rate stayed healthy I had to press on with labor. In answer to prayer, when the midwife checked me I had progressed to 8cm! She did recommend a new epidural, and I agreed to once again sit as still as possible and pray over the steady hand putting a needle into my spine.
VERY soon after the new epidural went in I was ready to push. I'm pretty sure I only pushed three times and Charlie was there. Once delivered he was put directly on my chest, which was new for me. The deep pain of not having Steve next to me was contrasted with pure joy of holding my son and speaking words of truth into his ear in his Daddy's stead, "Jesus is Lord." I held Charlie for over an hour before they took him to the nearby area for his checkup and first bath. My fourth child was born March 21, 2012 at 12:36pm, weighing 6.6lb and 20.5in.
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